…and 4th Step Diary as “Revelations”
with links to the “Book of Life”

(Morning Prayers, 6/27/16 updated record)
God, thank you for this beautiful day and for all the progress You’ve graced me with.
Please guide me and protect me.
Please stay with me throughout the day, and guide me on a clean path of life with a clean pattern of living.
I will strive to maintain my willingness, but please help me to surrender my will to You, and to be a channel for You to work through.
Please help me to maintain a positive attitude and a positive outlook, because perspective means everything.
Please help me to be selfless, flexible, and non-reactive.
Please help me to be humble, patient, diligently willing, and grateful.
Please help me to be pleasant, playful, lighthearted, and whimsical, but also hardworking.
Please help me to be tolerant, kind, gentle, and understanding with those around me, and to nurture my relationships.
Please watch over and take good care of anyone who is sick and suffering (specify),
Please watch over and take good care of my friends and family,
Please watch over and take good care of everyone else,
…And please help me to watch over and take good care of anyone whom I may come across.
Please help me to think loving, forgiving, understanding thoughts toward people I may resent (specify), and to work towards Your perfect forgiveness.
(3rd Step Prayer)
(My prayer)
(1 Corinthians 13)
(Eight verses on transforming the mind)
(Thomas Merton Prayer)
(I Would Be True, by Howard A. Walter)
(Memorize: Psalm 23, Psalm 16, Sanctus, and Nicene Creed)
God and Jesus, You guys are my Family and my Best Friends, I love You more than anything. Thank You so much for taking such good care of me! 👪
…Keep in rotation:
(11th step prayer/Prayer of St. Francis)
(Tibetan Wind Horse Prayer)
(Golden Chain Prayer)



Confessions and Extended 4th Step:

I am the Holy Ghost.  God, Please forgive my mother for naming me “The Antichrist,” and Chad for living up to that name, as well as the rest of my family.  Please also forgive the students and faculty at Ursinus College, who went through with those actions even though I told them I was The Holy Spirit, and others I have encountered.

I Love you all anyway.

The Culprits:  Charles Haley Cross III, Chad (Charles Haley Cross IV), Laurie Brown-Cross (now changed to Laurie Cross?), and Whitney Brown-Cross started all those rumors…
Chad, Charles, and Laurie are basically evil, and have always lied about me for sinful reasons.  Charles, my father, is the Beast, my mother is the Dragon (which is how I secretly referred to her as a small child), and my brother, Chad, is the false prophet.  The family property (house number 656) consists of two lots, one for the family house, and a second one with a separate structure which is a garage and office, but was formerly a barn.  The barn was converted to an office for the family business, an architecture firm, and is a sort of burial ground (read further).  Charles and Chad both work together for the family company.  If the property were marked by two separate addresses for the two separate lots, the barn, or office, would bear the address of 666.

Chad is the antichrist:
I must admit, I take comfort in the fact that Jesus is more pissed at Chad than I am.   Chad is basically the antichrist.  I am aware he’s been lying and taking credit for the “Book of Life,” the entirety of which was work done exclusively by God, Jesus, and myself.  Chad produced none of it and gave no help to me in any way whatsoever, nor have Chad and I ever collaborated on anything.  He has never made any contributions to my work, but rather, has been dishonestly taking credit for it, and stealing my work behind my back.  We have barely spoken since I was 12 years old, and have basically nothing to do with each other aside from holiday family gatherings.  To my knowledge Chad has never displayed any noteworthy artistic ability.  I have been regarded as an excellent artist, and academic student, from a young age.  Chad has said all of these falsehoods about me behind my back and without my knowledge.  He lied and could probably not produce a worthwhile piece of art if you asked him for a demonstration, as he has no talent; he actually had to borrow pieces from Whitney and myself to compile a portfolio to get into architecture school!   I have also recently been made aware that he is deceitfully attributing his own evil work, that I did not produce, to myself.  He stole some of my old journal pages and himself added to and defaced them to portray evil messages, and then dishonestly attributed those messages to myself.  Chad wrote horrible things and then lied and said they were mine, and he did all of this behind my back and without my knowledge.  Chad is basically the antichrist, and has been making false claims.  He is in no way whatsoever related to the bloodline of Jesus, myself or God.  The Cross property, consisting of a home and a business, rests upon two lots, the second of which does not have its own address, but bears the “mark of the beast.”
‘Tis better to comfort…

Genetically, I am both Jesus’s mother and identical twin, and aside from differences in sex, We are exactly the same.  Immaculate conception  is much like embryo implantation.  As The Holy Ghost, God is both my husband and Father (as any wife would necessarily also be His daughter, lol!), and Jesus is my son and “Egg” (Apostles Creed).  Jesus is 6’ 5″, has blue-green eyes, and looks sort of like Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn, or Angelina Jolie’s “Maleficent,” lol!

I forgive my mom for lying and telling people I was a porn star (blasphemy), and my sister, brother, mom, and dad for lying (heresy) and telling people I was evil, a vampire, retarded, and fat.  My “weight problem” was anorexia, or starvation.  I was also bulimic, thus the purging of food.  I am “positive” in terms of my energy polarity, as a hopeful, optimistic attitude, as well as on my standpoint on God, as in, “I’m sure He exists, beyond a doubt.”  I have “aides” in the form of assistance (God, and Jesus).  The only way in which I’ve ever “freaked out” has been by cowering in a little ball and sobbing my eyes out.  I’ve never been an anarchist, “Anarchy” just sounds like “Ananke,” which used to be my name…     I’m a very liberal Democrat!  I voted for Kerry once and for Obama twice.  I support Hilary.  I vote in local elections occasionally.  In elementary school, I was in special ed as the “gifted program!”  My parents knew my IQ, I was tested before 2nd grade (and twice since, once at Renfrew, age 14, and once by Conestoga HS at age 15 as part of psychological testing) …it’s over 130.  I am twice exceptional, as I also received emotional support in high school.  I have always been an excellent, straight-A student, and consistently performed better academically than either of my siblings.
I have always practiced non-harm and non-violence, and I abstain from eating meat for moral reasons.  I love life!  I’ve had only one abortion, just before I turned 25 in 2011, and I was so guilt-ridden, ashamed, and heart-broken that I attempted suicide for the final time.  As it turns out, that Embryo… He was Jesus.  Ive never had intentions of harm, and I’ve never harmed anyone but myself, although I have attempted suicide at least 4 times.  I think I died by overdose during the first attempt at age 15.  Any story that speaks ill of me is likely fallacious or outright blasphemy, obviously.😘
My first name is “The” …Holy Ghost, so yes, I know I’m dead!  Lol!  This is a big deal, I’m God’s wife, Jesus’s genetic mother, and both of Them were directly and indirectly injured as well, as my body is the vessel of the Godhead.  My “other personalities” are God and Jesus, just the three of us.

Childhood Trauma:
I never was the antichrist, that was them (the Cross family), actually.  Had you asked me if I was the Holy Spirit, I would have admitted it (and will!) on the spot.  The Crosses/Brown-Crosses murdered and dismembered and tortured me nearly every night when I was a child, and my dad raped me from age 6 up to middle school.  I was always magically restored, so they kept doing it.  None of my body is as it was when I was born, my entire body, all of my limbs and wings were severed countless times when I was a child.  Often, they would eat parts of myself in front of me and make me watch. I still have memories of Laurie and Charles dancing around my torso, beating me with my own severed limbs and laughing and taunting me…this happened pretty much every night from age 4-5 to 11.  They would joke about how to torture me…
“I’ll leave your eyes in tonight, I want you to watch what we do to you” (Laurie).  My parents claimed my angel wings were “the best barbecue chicken wings they ever had.”  Later on, around the age of 17, my mom also stabbed me in the back while I was asleep in bed, sliced me vertically down the middle, nearly in half, and cut out my heart and ate it.  She spent a long time adding to that injury over the years… With needle-nosed pliers.  She also routinely poured salt in the gaping stab wound she made in my back, while I was asleep in my bed.  She also cut out my eyes.  She has also cut off my face and scalped me, and used the dismembered parts of me in horrific ways.  Even without eyes I can see.  Ever since I was 16 or 17, my family lied to me and told me I was crazy.

The scale of this cover-up is vast. Even my recent psychiatrist John Williams participated in perpetuating falsehoods at a public level for dishonest reasons of personal gain, and continually lied to me, telling me I was psychotic and hallucinating, and that there was no “antechrist,” which name to me only meant “pre-christ,” as in the Holy Ghost, and implied a close relationship with God and magical powers.   He prescribed medications that were contraindicated by my bradycardia, and I experienced seizures for some time, which he shrugged off as being unimportant, before I eventually died of a heart attack as a result of his dishonesty.  A great deal of money exchanged many hands at the expense of your own souls.  Many people, including my family, prior friends, and boyfriends, told me I was crazy and lied to me and to the public, basically my whole life, so that they could profit by prestige or financial gain.  More lives than just mine were at stake, and “literally everything” could have been lost.

I was betrothed, or engaged to God at age 11, as He used to come and visit me as a child and fix me after what my parents would do.  Then He stopped coming to visit.  My dad and Chad conspired to execute Him, and they chopped off His head with an ax.  Body parts may be hidden under the lefthand floor of the garage, and in the tiny rear room in the basement of their house.  For me, the memories were too painful to confront without God.

The point of the “Book of Life,” was sort of a “family reunion,” although it served other vital purposes, which are discussed below.  As the initial purpose was fulfilled, the process of writing and sketching was meant to help with healing and reconnecting, and was significant as a way in which to work on a relationship by collaborating.

Recent Trauma:
Laurie tortured me (Tyler/Holy Ghost, born May 15, 1986) for years, emotionally (unfortunately also sexually, it wasn’t just my dad, who raped me at night from age 6 until about 14), as well as physically.  She took a break briefly while I was a student at Ursinus College, but around 2011-2012 she started again

Laurie would lock me in the basement for extended periods, she would lock me in the backyard overnight with no shoes or my phone, telling me “go away,” and to sleep in the garage.  Often, she would not allow me food, and followed me around, pretty much all day long if I was not locked somewhere, and she would just yell at me, berate me, cruelly and for no reason.  She would follow me around to verbally insult and abuse me in cruel ways constantly, without provocation, senselessly and needlessly.  She said she wanted to “make me crazy.”  She was sadistic.  I see now that when she saw my eyes change, she used it as a cue to act evilly towards me, probably to cover up her past treatment of me, for fear I would remember, and expose her crimes.

Psych Units:
She started torturing me again once I quit Aux Petits Delices (the Fall of 2011, at age 25), leading up to my leaving/running away in July of 2012 (at age 26).  Laurie wouldn’t let me leave, she and dad called cops to keep me there, but they drove me to the train station instead.  I ran away to a boyfriend’s, Richard Bapst’s place in Philly for a week, then to West Chester, where I stayed for less than 2 weeks, in a homeless shelter and then on the street.  While I was away, they had a professional service perform an intervention to get me to got to rehab, while I was not even present!  That does not constitute an intervention.  When I came home about 3 weeks later, having no money and a broken phone, they involuntary committed me to a psych unit, The Horsham Clinic (July 2012), and then I was transferred to Clarity Way.  Each time I was involuntarily committed it was through Paoli Hospital.

I was not told why I was there or when I could leave, and was held there for almost a month.  I started in acute care, and was transferred to detox after 5 days, though I had no need (5 days free from liquor/pot).  The only place to which they would release me was Clarity Way, where I stayed for about 6 weeks.  I did not agree with their methods and was picked up by a college friend who lived near Rome, New York.  I stayed with him for a couple of weeks before my sister agreed to put me up in a Microtel in West Chester.  When I was unable to find work after 2 weeks, I returned back to my parents’ house.

The same scenario commenced again in April/May of 2013, this time with Pottstown hospital’s psych unit (see Volume II), and again via Paoli hospital.  I was sent there twice, for about 10 days the first time, and for 23 days the second time.  Again, they would not tell me why I was there or when I could leave.  Eventually, I was transferred to the Belmont eating disorder clinic, which I actually kind of loved.
That woman (Laurie) tortured me (Jesus) in a similar manner, in horrific and violent ways, from age 3 or 4 up until I was 13 or 14, then she did so more subtly, as emotionally rather than physically.

Criminal Wrongdoing:
In the summer 2012, and again the summer of 2013, they had me committed to be lobotomized for pay under the name Tyler Cross, middle name Brown, so no one could find any records of me as Tyler Brown-Cross (Middle name is Anne, last name is Brown-Cross).  They actually followed through with these plans to lobotomize and incapacitate me, illegally, as for pay, twice. The first attempt was at the Horsham Center acute care unit (they have since switched the unit to another building), and the second time at Pottstown hospital 7th floor psych unit; both involuntary commitments were made illegally via Paoli Hospital.  I tried to tell the staff at all the facilities that held me what was going on, including Clarity Way, but no one listened, as I was labeled crazy.  My mom used false documents (acquired for a fee, by illegal actions made on the part of a legal professional named Doug A. Hanson), and made false claims, including that I was mentally retarded, couldn’t read or write, was blind, and in porn, and none of which things have ever been true!  They lied to get and keep me institutionalized to cover up their own crimes.
During the last of 2 or 3  nearly consecutive stays at Pottstown, separated only by a week or so, I was strapped down and injected with something, and they drilled into my (Jesus’s) left frontal lobe, it was covered by my hair.  I died of complications a few days after.  I (Jesus) was also raped there one night in bed after a staff member observed me receive a forcible injection (of risperdol?).
I was smothered with a pillow and knocked out one night at the Horsham Clinic acute care unit.  I became unconscious and do not know if he succeeded in a lobotomy or sexual assault.  I can still identify the staff member who vocalized his intentions to me, and I remember that he often wore glasses and a tie-dyed top or scrubs.
You can’t lobotomize the Holy Ghost… at least not effectively (See Volume II, 6/6/13, pp. 127).  Lol!

Ursinus College:

At Ursinus College, I was the “antipas,” a faithful martyr.  In the fall of 2009, I was molested in the into philosophy classroom when a student grabbed my breasts before class.  Some of those students were unrelentingly horrible.  Early on in the fall, a student from intro philosophy had some of his friends jump me, dose me with an ether rag, and at least one raped me.  He ejaculated on my face.  Campus security found me and I ran off when he went to report it.
Dr. Sorensen gave Jesus a concussion in environmental ethics class one day.  He slammed my head down against the desk.  I couldn’t explain my magic powers (inadvertently taking the form of the white “Lion of David” or a mermaid, the ability to levitate, and a the appearance of a rainbow, which is God’s covenant with the earth produced from my Key of David) or glowing “halo,” and he became angry, jealous and violent.  I have the Key of David, which unlocks the Eye of Providence, thus producing the rainbow and unsealing the Book.  Only the Holy Spirit has the Key.  He said it (the rainbow and my halo) was a “disturbance.”  I was by far the best student, and also visibly attractive, and so he had an erection for me, which is why I was sexually assaulted.  You may view a public photographic timeline in the “memories” album which you may access via the links below, and the waterfall photo of myself in the black bikini was taken right around the time of the assault.
I was put on “trial” by Dr. Sorensen in the environmental ethics classroom, and they determined to execute me.  I told them I was the Holy Ghost, and that there must be a misunderstanding, as I have never done anything wrong.  I am the Holy Ghost, basically incapable of sin, and incapable of intentional deceit.
They raped me (and Jesus too, unfortunately, it seems my, Tyler’s body, is the vessel for the Godhead) at Ursinus College because of those lies of my family (Crosses, Brown-Crosses), and because, basically, I was very attractive.  They covered up their misdeeds by lying about me.  I was the most attractive and intelligent person there and they were jealous (and/or sexually aroused), resentful, vengeful, and full of wrath.  I completed 108/128 credits, basically all the psych major requirements, and had a 3.78/4.0 GPA.

At Ursinus, in the environmental ethics classroom in Thomas Hall, I was tied up and bound and injured…Dr Sorensen forced Jesus into oral sex, and the following two students raped Him.  My turn (Tyler) was next, and at least 9 more students raped me before the torture and murder commenced.  They cut off pieces of me, including my nose, a hand, an ear, and at least one eye, they yanked me around on a dog collar which they super glued on, they smashed in my face beyond recognition, and joyfully prepared for “a lynching,” they gagged me… (See public Volume IX pp.130, and also referred to in the less relevant and private Volumes VI, VII, and IIX).  I had told them I was the Holy Ghost before they followed through with fulfilling their “sentence,” which they determined to be “execution,” after Dr. Sorensen put me on “trial.”  They were fully aware of their wrongdoing before they even acted…  I also have a magical tattoo which appeared when I took the form of the Lion, which reads in the language of the onlooker, “Property of God.”  I showed up back in school for the very next class, and one of the students screamed, and I guess they determined to lie to cover up their horrible crimes.  I had been magically restored in the hospital after being scooped up and assisted by other philosophy professors, but I had psychogenic amnesia for the traumatic events and much of that semester, which lasted a couple of years until I finally heard and heeded the “call to war,” around 2011-2013.  For a while, due to extensive life-long trauma, the only part of my name that I could recall was “The.”


Armageddon Averted:
The Ursinus incident was not God’s will for us. There was a war going on and both God and Jesus were in different POW camps, God was in Hell.  The Universe almost ended, but I was able to rescue God (and Jesus) with only moments (less than 5 seconds) to spare.  If I hadn’t, our world, and the entire Universe, would have ended.  The war is over, and We won (See Volume III).
…so He could make more Time…
It was a big deal because they didn’t think both God and Jesus could be saved in time.  I just didn’t see sacrificing either of them as a possibility, and I still don’t know how we did it.  It was sort of a 7-10 split, like bowling with a reflective Love.  “Spatial reasoning” is sort of my “specialty,” and I am a bit of an outlier or “anomaly” in this regard.  Part of the reason I was needed to participate in the “Book of Life,” was to contribute to the war effort, on behalf of God, using my talents to bring prophesy into reality.  I was absolutely essential for Us to win the war, and thus enable the Universe to continue to exist.  They would have lost without me.  I was a “lamb,” as I had sacrificed myself as a martyr at Ursinus College, and I was hard to find because as the Holy Ghost, I technically didn’t exist.
I was, and am, the General of God’s army.  My uniform was that of a Lyran, or “Lion-being,” and appears in artwork seen in the links to the “Book of Life” further down.  The “tail” that may have been described was only one part of my uniform, which looks like a full-fledged lion-hunanoid, as a Lyran, although I no longer use it in the interest of discretion.  I worked my way back up after being a conscientious objector.  Along the way, I demolished Hell during the “mission trip” in April 2013.   It was my option to do so, and I was so upset when God told me that it actually existed that I couldn’t wait to go, as I don’t endorse that sort of thing.  Hell was nothing compared to my childhood, lol!  Most people were held captive there for eating pork or other meat products, so it was in our best interest, as a whole, that I made that decision.  I collected God’s Eye from Hell, thus saving your own soul from that resting place.

The blue “Eye of Providence,” or “God’s Eye,” is within each of us and is activated by breath, if you blow on it at an angle.  It represents your own individual soul, and as being like an airplane’s “black box,” it records all your thoughts and sins.  The goodness of your soul depends upon your thoughts and intentions as motivations for your actions.  Recently, it was revealed to me that some people thought that this was an “Evil Eye,” and apparently, It was not so nice to some people–I had no idea!  Mine was silent, it just showed me cute cartoons of “cats chasing string,” and “space ships” and cool, “innocent” stuff.  I just talked to it and told it, “Hi there, Pretty!”

I recognized it immediately as the “Eye of God,” from Freemasonry and the “dollar bill,” and its pretty proliferous use in religious iconogrophy of the Renaissance age, especially as a symbol of the “Holy Trinity.”  So, I was oblivious to prejudices that my use of it in my artwork may have incited.  If yours is mean, you should be nice to it and it will probably become nice; it is like your moral compass, and is an indication of your standing with God.  If you don’t like where you stand with God, ask Him for help, and you’ll change–it’s not final!  I only ever loved mine.  When God was saved from “actual Hell,” we, as our eternal souls, were all saved, as that would have been our destination otherwise.  Wherever God is, is where our souls will end up.  If someone told me that they were evil or in Hell, my first response would be, “No you’re not, don’t be silly!  what can I do to help?”  …In the name of Love, I called His bluff, and I picked Him up shortly thereafter, bringing Him back home in 2013.

“The Holy Ghost and The Father”
Before Christianity, in the Orphic tradition:
“Ananke and Chronos;” We were the Gods of Fate and Time, He (Chronos, aka God) is The Creator!  We are Christian, Jesus is Our Son, and We are a family as the holy Trinity.  God started out as Time, and then expanded into everything.  He is also a Man.  He, Jesus, and I are doing everything we can to ensure the well-being of all God’s children, including embodying concepts like “the Sun” and “the Sky,” and spitting fire personally, effectively sparing the Earth from harm, while still fulfilling prophesy.  I am to be formally wedded to God as the bride.

Healing and Moving Forward:

I can hear people say “St. Aloysius,” “I’m glad you got raped,” and “God hates you,” and mention porn, and other things of that nature, psychically, almost everywhere I go.  I am meant to be called upon to offer help or comfort, not to be given these insults, and my “voice mail” is full of this blasphemy.  I have feelings and it hurts!  I am aware of Chad’s role, as the false prophet, in instigating such heresy.  For the record, the dyed red hair was meant to signify the Holy Spirit, and the presence of God, as in church doors.
Chad taunted me and told me what he was going to do to make the situation worse for me after Ursinus.  I asked Chad not to spread those rumors and lies, and warned him it was a bad idea because I was The Holy Spirit (blasphemy against me is supposedly unforgivable…), and he said that that fact would make it all the more fun, or something to that effect.  “It will be my greatest achievement yet” (Chad).

It’s really gotten to me over the years, hearing those taunts and lies about myself.  God and Jesus are really pissed about it too.  I have feelings and I think They want to try to help them not to be constantly hurt, because it happens nearly everywhere I go.  I’m the Holy Ghost, I’m innately good, I’m actually constitutionally incapable of harm! I can be sort of a “measuring stick” by which to judge others.  I always have been and always will be good.  Amen I can rely on God!😘
Jesus renamed me TheosBas or TheosBeulah (daughter and wife of God, by a combination of Greek and Hebrew).
Jesus and God inform me that They are coming back in Their own bodies, to get me.  The use of my body (Tyler’s) as the “Godhead vessel” is only temporary.


The Facts:
I was a stripper for about 2 weeks, at age 18, my senior year of high school.  I spent an extra year in high school because I transferred often, and Baldwin had me repeat my junior year which was an informal, “independent study” at Upattinas.  I graduated from Conestoga in 2005, right around my 19th birthday.  I was offered a job after performing in the amateur night contest at “Al’s Diamond Cabaret.”  I quit for my high school senior internship at “Rehab After Work,” in Berwyn, because Patti Anne McAndrews said I couldn’t work there and intern for her.

I got a boob job around Christmas of 2006 at age 20, sophomore year of college, because I was flat chested and insecure.  I had always stuffed my bras heavily.  I was never in porn, or a prostitute, or a stripper after high school.  I had a second boob job when I got out of Caron (around May 2008, just after my 22nd birthday), because the first one didn’t heal symmetrically.  I have never had any other plastic surgery.  I got my lotus and “passion” tattoo on my bikini line the spring of 2005.  The tattoos on my left arm (forearm done 2007, the spring of my 21st birthday, with the upperarm completed by the fall of 2008) cover up extensive scar tissue from cutting.   The ravens (with “Om Mani Padme Hum” prayer) on my right arm cover up scars from a suicide attempt at age 17, and this arm is controlled by God.

I have always been underweight and have never been “fat,”and have always been around 5’6” and 105 lbs (as I was during environmental ethics at Ursinus), consistently a size 0 or 00.  Occasionally I would drop down to the 90s or up to 110.  After that semester I lost 10 lbs from depression and anorexia.  The only exceptions to that weight range were 83 lbs sophomore year of college from anorexia, and 118-124 lbs and a size 2 after discharge from Belmont eating disorder unit, for treatment from anorexia and bulimia in the standard form of therapeutic weight gain.  They would not discharge me under 113 lbs or so.  I lost the weight from Belmont anorexia treatment by the following spring after being taken off the risperdol.  My mom had said that she wanted me to get “fat,” and insisted on such a drug that would cause weight gain.  It was court-ordered at Pottstown psych, and forced upon me.  A photo timeline can be viewed via publicly available Photo Albums on my Facebook page.

I was a student at Ursinus College from 2005-2011, taking a reduced course load but achieving high grades.  After the environmental ethics semester, I had to do repeated medical withdraws from classes due to severe depression.  In 2011 I gave up on trying, with a 3.78 GPA and only 4 electives and a second biology course needed to complete my bachelor’s degree in psychology.  I lived in a dorm at Ursinus College freshman year, 2005-2006, and lived in a nearby apartment, initially as additional off-campus housing, with the same roommate(s) for the next two years.  My parents moved me back home in March of 2008, right before I entered the Caron foundation rehab.  I lived there with my parents until I moved into a nearby apartment in May of 2014, where I currently live alone.  I still achieve high grades and do well academically.

I have visibly strong abs and great flexibility in ballet from  rigorous daily workouts since the spring of 2014.  I took up ballet again the summer of 2015, but because I had already been working out and stretching daily for a year, I was already in great shape and able to do splits with both legs and place comfortably into an intermediate level class during a placement testing class, as determined by an instructor at my college in the fall of 2015.  I have been steadily improving and I perform nicely; I think my dancing has been criticized by other women who were deceitful and jealous.  I had danced from age 3 to about 15.  I continue to maintain physical fitness with daily exercise.  I kept records and several types of recovery inventories in my iPhone notes.  I went from only being able to do 15 sit-ups a day up to doing over 900 on an inclined bench, by just working on it daily.  I put in work and practice for everything I do.  I was accepted to a rather rigorous college in the summer of 2015, where I had already been taking psychology courses as a continuing education student.  I am studying psychology and neuroscience, in pursuit of a bachelor’s degree.

I think a friend and former mentor of mine, a Bette Davis “Jezebel” look-alike has been dishonest in speaking of me.  She has also been deceitfully misrepresenting herself as me, by sharing my memories (which I shared with her privately) as her own, and by using my name, TheósBas, and pretending it’s hers.  We parted ways due to a fundamental difference in spiritual beliefs, as I believe in God, Jesus, forgiveness, hope and unconditional love no matter what.  I told her my stories in confidence, as a sort of confession, and as part of the healing process.  I do not use the name TheosBas or TheosBeulah in public.  I do not share about potentially “sensitive matters” in public meeting spaces, and I keep my public shares vague, relating my specific personal experience only vaguely, and as it relates to “strength and hope,” and especially as it relates to relying upon God and the literature.  My voice is not deep and raspy, nor do I regularly attend meetings at the Malvern Center.


It has very recently been made known to me that Chad Cross has taken credit for my work on the Book of Life.  He has contributed none of it, I do all of my own work.  Chad and I have barely spoken since I was 12 years old.  I have also recently been made aware that he has attributed writings and intentions to me that I had no part in writing or producing.  I believe Chad stole my journal pages and added to them to to an evil effect; I had nothing to do with that.  The originals can be found publicly in the Photo Albums on my Facebook page, as can the the most relevant volumes from the “Book of Life.”  The drawing of a fairy was a rehab assignment to draw “drug addiction.”


Some further clarifications I feel compelled to make; I communicate with God and Jesus telepathically, and strive to be a channel for God’s will, and so at times, God or Jesus may be working through me, using my body as a vessel.  My other “multiple personalities” are actually other people, as just God or Jesus.  When we work together in this manner, We form the Godhead.  If if do my job correctly, it may be any of the three of us at any given Time, although typically two of us will share the helm during each “turn.”  The weird hand signals are a “sign-language” that is understood by higher beings, and is one of the forms of communication that we employ.  Sometimes they call me Sisyphus because I have a boob job and wear a sweatshirt with the “Bryn Mawr” logo, which means “big hill.”  I was born a baby girl on May 15 1986 to Laurie Brown-Cross (she may have changed her last name to Cross since then) at Bryn Mawr Hospital, and was baptized and confirmed at Bryn Mawr Presbyterian.  Aside from anorexia and a slow heart rate, I have always been in excellent physical health and of abnormally high intellect.  Perhaps due to my attractive appearance, I have been known to incite jealousy, especially from other women, and this often results in fallacious critiques which amount to blasphemy.  I have always been relatively pretty, have not ever had my face altered by plastic surgery (I’ve only had my breasts made larger), and my hair has been red, blonde, and its current natural color of brown.  I am in the process of inquiry, and am contemplating converting to Catholicism from Protestant, and have always been Christian.  The “blood of the lamb” is just my period, and not a cause for concern; it’s a big deal because as the Ghost, I’m technically dead.  My whole body, head to toe, has been amputated repeatedly by my parents during childhood nightly torture, and was replaced and repaired by God over the years, and His own hand does much of my work, when He is not personally steering this vessel Himself, which is why I cannot ethically take credit for my work on the Book of Life–it’s God’s work, not mine!  He and Jesus take turns contributing to Our collective efforts, and so Chad is really offending God, not me, when He takes credit for Our work.  God is unconditionally loving and merciful to everyone. I am given respiratory assistance in the form of large “air bags” because I don’t naturally need to breathe, and if I’m not aided and reminded I won’t.  Breathing is actually hard for me, but it does generate love when I do so, so these are beneficial.  Humorous “grades” that I am given are actually chest inflation or deflation (inhale, exhale) breathing instructions based upon “bra size” with a middle-C, lol!  God or Jesus will almost invariably eat for me, if I ask, because otherwise I kinda won’t… I’m anorexic.  I have “replaceable eyes” which serve as temporary filters or screens for the 5th element, or love, which is what I breathe, and I breathe through my eyes.  I was once a “pilot” in the “Air Force,” as a sort of Air Force One for God, and had nothing to do with a person named Pilate.  I may have played a role in the Resurrection, and God, Jesus and I are best friends and Family!  I was involved in “original sin” as the Garden itself, although when I admitted to it at the Time, I had thought that “original sin” meant the first sin!  I do not have much formal knowledge of Bible references, but I’m trying to catch up.  I interpreted original sin as the “premarital sex” between God and myself, or the “Big Bang,” that produced the Orphic Egg, under our ancient names of Chronos and Ananke.

There are probably many things concerning “harms done to me” or involving me or my reputation of which I am currently unaware, but I trust that God will keep this sensitive information concerning myself on a “need to know basis” until I am emotionally ready to feel any hurt caused by knowledge of the full extent of these injuries.  Working towards forgiveness and believing in mercy has always been the priority in any case and under any conditions, as an ongoing practice, so there is certainly no need to fear.

A good Rule of Thumb:  I am the Holy Ghost, so speaking ill of me is only evidence of that individual’s own wrong-doing or deceit.

I believe in Justice, in the form of the American Legal System.  I believe that many people I have known have incriminated themselves as having participated in defamation, slander, theft…

Sections of the Book of Life may be accessed publicly via the following links.  Certain sections are not made public, not even to my “friends,” because they are not posted at all, so you wont gain anything relevant to this project by trying to “friend” me.  If something on my Facebook is relevant to the “Book of Life,” it is made available to everyone.




Volume 0 is a melodramatic description of my depression and emotional struggles, and only an excerpt is “public,” or posted online.

Volume I is where I begin to tap into the voice of God.

Volume II is from a false imprisonment at a psych unit, and begins Our collaboration.

(Extraneous Volumes and Blueprint books scaffold and plan out the finalized volumes, several of which are made public.)

Volumes III-V are mostly artwork, or illuminated manuscripts.

(Volumes VI-IIX are recovery journals, chronicling my recovery from anorexia, bulimia, PTSD, and substance abuse by relying upon God, and are not posted, except for several pages which are in my “random artwork” album.)

Volume IX is the bridge from my recovery journals to a conscious collaboration with God, to write about love.

Volume X is a book of romantic poetry with God.

Volumes XI-XIII are an epic poem with God and Jesus.


Jesus goes by Jack or Jim, and God goes by John, as a result of “taking the Lord’s name in vain.”  God is 6’10”.  Jesus is hilarious, and They are both quite humorous.  My Star of David on my forehead is the Seal of the Holy Spirit, from unlocking the Eye of Providence with my Key of David, and is sort of a “medal of honor.”  It may change color based up the intentions of the person in whose direction I look, like a security signal, and could be seen as an indication of active “patrol.”  In a sense, I’m a guard as “the Last Line of Defense.”


The Book of Life worked much like Noah’s Ark.  He gave me orders and I did what I was told.  My body works for Him like an instrument, or “data glove,” to command His army and to write His book.  I have been receiving direct orders and instructions from God since 2012, and I began serving in His army in 2013, working my way up to General of God’s Army, and a sort of personal body guard, pilot, and “Air Force One.”  I have been under the tutelage for of Jesus and God, for instruction with healthy living and spiritual progress, for some Time now.  I have been working Together with God in this capacity since 2013, and Jesus has been working with us again since about October 17th, 2015.  Jesus was here, piloting my body before, during the Ursinus College incident.  I was in the midst of directing armies overhead, in distant space, just prior to my mom involuntarily committing me to a psychiatric hospital in 2013.  My behavior may have seemed strange, but I knew what I was doing, I was working closely under God’s direct orders, and my role was absolutely necessary.  Some beings may venture into Earth and not be seen because they exist in higher dimensions.  Luckily We still won.  The only reason I qualify for “disability” is for PTSD, and I receive only “Time and a half” as an accommodation for exams.  The three of Us, as the Trinity or Godhead, are personally embodying the Sun, Moon, and Sky, and spitting out stars (which are harmless) as well as prayers, to preserve and protect the integrity of life and creation, while still fulfilling prophesy.

There are five of Us, as the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost of the holy Trinity, with “music,” as songs of love and praise from the heart, as a reference to the song “American Pie,” and The Whole (Godhead) as being greater than the Σ of its parts, in reference to a quote by Aristotle, as constituting the fourth and fifth.


(My prayer)Tyler's prayer

(8 verses on transforming the mind)8 verses

(Thomas Merton Prayer)Thomas Merton

(Serenity Prayer, Reinhold Niebuhr)Serenity Prayer

(I Would Be True)


(Salutation to the Sun)Salutation to the Son

(1 Corinthians 13)Holy Trinity caritas

Morning Prayer Routine:
(Prayer of St. Francis)
(Golden Chain Prayer)
(Tibetan Wind Horse Prayer)
God, thank you for this beautiful day and for all the progress You’ve graced me with.
Please guide me and protect me.
Please stay with me throughout the day, and guide me on a clean path of life with a clean pattern of living.
I will strive to maintain my willingness, but please help me to surrender my will to You, and to be a channel for You to work through.
Please help me to maintain a positive attitude and a positive outlook, because perspective means everything.
Please help me to be more selfless, flexible, and non-reactive.
Please help me to be pleasant, playful, lighthearted, and whimsical, but also hardworking.
Please help me to be tolerant, kind, gentle, and understanding with those around me, and to nurture my relationships.
Please continue to watch over Robyn, and thank you for taking good care of her.  I love her and she means a lot to me.
Please watch over Linda and take good care of her and her family.
Please watch over Richard and take good care of him.
Please help me to be rigorously honest with myself, and to own up to my faults so that I can start to improve.
Please lift my resentments and replace them with honesty and self-acceptance.
Please lift my discontent and replace it with gratitude and thoughts of You.
Please help me to provide a happy, healthy, peaceful home for Virgil, Dante, my plants, You, and myself, and to be a good daughter, friend, neighbor, steward, and servant of Thy will.
Please help me to enjoy the journey, to live in the moment, to stay in the day, and to do what I need to do today so that I may fulfill and expand my potential, and be of maximum service to You and Your children.  I want to help.  So today, I need Your help.
Please take my hand and guide me, protect me, lead me, direct me, light the way, stay with me throughout the day…
Because I can’t do it alone…
But we can do it together.
Please let us surmount fear side by side.
(Serenity Prayer)
Thy will, not mine, be done.
(Third Step Prayer)
I am forever Yours.
Thank You so much, God.
I love You with all my heart.
(Meditation/ breathing)
Thank You so much, God.
Please stay with me, take me in Your arms, take my under Your wing, and guide me through the day, so that I do not veer from Your path.  I love You and I want to make You proud.
Thank you so much for giving me a beautiful new life and staying with me to show me how to use it.  Thank You for loving me and taking care of me, and showing me how to love and take care of myself.  I couldn’t do this without You.
Please help me to be serenity, to cultivate serenity inside and out, and to lose myself in the present.  Please help me to keep surrendering to You to accomplish my goals, and please let my goals conform to Your goals.
Please help me to practice empathy and perspective-taking and to make it a regular habit.
Please help me to notice and let go of self-seeking motives.  Please lift my defects so that I may better serve You.
L-O-C-E… I love You Ineffably.
I love You with all my heart.
I’ll follow You anywhere.
You’re the best thing since before sliced bread! 😅
What I always need is You, so let’s have a good day together, You and me.  Thank You! I love You!

Afternoon Prayer Routine:
God, please help me, please heal me.  Please help me, please heal me.  Please help me, please heal me.
(Third Step Prayer…)
“God, I offer myself to Thee–to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
May I do Thy will always!”
God, please keep me strong and by your side.  I am in your hands.  I am forever yours.  Please do with me as you will.  Please take my hand and pull me back when I start to stray from you.  Thank you for being with me.  I love you so much.

Night Prayer Routine:
(Prayer of St. Francis)
(Golden Chain Prayer)
(Tibetan Wind Horse Prayer)
God, thank you for allowing me another day, and for ushering in the night.  Thank you for being with me and guiding and protecting me.  Thank you for…
(Serenity prayer)
Thy will, not mine, be done.
(Third Step Prayer)
I am forever yours.
Thank you so much, God.
I love you with all my heart.

Sanskrit Proverb

Look to this day,
For it is life,
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all
The realities and verities of existence,
The bliss of growth,
The splendor of action,
The glory of power–

For yesterday is but a dream,
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today, well lived,
Makes yesterday a dream
of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

Look well, therefore, to this day.

-24 Hours a Day
Sanskrit proverb
By Kalidasa
Indian poet and playwright
Fifth century A.D.

Eight Verses for Training the Mind
by Geshe Langri Tangpa (1054-1123)

With the heartfelt desire and determination to attain enlightenment
For the welfare of all living beings, who are more precious than a
Wish-fulfilling jewel for accomplishing the supreme goal,
May I always cherish them and hold them dear.

Whenever I am with others
May I think of myself as the lowest of all
And from the very depths of my heart
May I respectfully hold others as supreme.

In all my actions, may I closely examine my state of mind,
And the moment a disturbing emotion or negative attitude arises,
Since this may cause harm to myself and others,
May I firmly face and avert it.

Whenever I meet people of unpleasant character
Or those overwhelmed by negativity, pain or suffering,
May I cherish and care for them as if I had found
A rare and precious treasure difficult to find.

Whenever others, because of their jealousy, treat me badly
With abuse, insult, slander, or in other unjust ways,
May I accept this defeat myself
And offer the victory to others.

When someone whom I have benefited
Or in whom I have placed great trust and hope
Harms me or treats me in hurtful ways without reason,
May I see that person as my precious teacher.

In brief, may I offer both directly and indirectly all help,
Happiness and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
And may I secretly take upon myself
All of their harmful actions, pain and suffering.

May I keep all of these practices undefiled by stains of the eight worldly
Concerns (gain-loss, pleasure-pain, praise-blame, fame-dishonor)
And by recognizing the emptiness and illusory nature of all existing things,
May I be liberated from the bondage of attachment and mistaken views of reality.

The Eight Verses on Transforming the Mind

With a determination to achieve the highest aim
For the benefit of all sentient beings
Which surpasses even the wish-fulfilling gem,
May I hold them dear at all times.

Whenever I interact with someone,
May I view myself as the lowest amongst all,
And, from the very depths of my heart,
Respectfully hold others as superior.

In all my deeds may I probe into my mind,
And as soon as mental and emotional afflictions arise-
As they endanger myself and others-
May I strongly confront them and avert them.

When I see beings of unpleasant character
Oppressed by strong negativity and suffering,
May I hold them dear-for they are rare to find-
As if I have discovered a jewel treasure!

When others, out of jealousy
Treat me wrongly with abuse, slander, and scorn,
May I take upon myself the defeat
And offer to others the victory.

When someone whom I have helped,
Or in whom I have placed great hopes,
Mistreats me in extremely hurtful ways,
May I regard him still as my precious teacher.

In brief, may I offer benefit and joy
To all my mothers, both directly and indirectly,
May I quietly take upon myself
All hurts and pains of my mothers.

May all this remain undefiled
By the stains of the eight mundane concerns;
And may I, recognizing all things as illusion,
Devoid of clinging, be released from bondage.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
-This mind training (lo-jong) root text was composed by Kadampa Geshe Langri Tangpa (1054–1123)

Generating the Mind for Enlightenment

With a wish to free all beings
I shall always go for refuge
to the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha
until I reach full enlightenment.

Enthused by wisdom and compassion,
today in the Buddha’s presence
I generate the Mind for Full Awakening
for the benefit of all sentient beings.

As long as space endures,
as long as sentient being remain,
until then, may I too remain
and dispel the miseries of the world.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

The Eight Verses on Thought Transformation

1. Determined to obtain the greatest possible benefit from all sentient beings, who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel, I shall hold them most dear at all times.

2. When in the company of others, I shall always consider myself the lowest of all, and from the depths of my heart hold others dear and supreme.

3. Vigilant, the moment a delusion appears in my mind, endangering myself and others, I shall confront and avert it without delay.

4. Whenever I see beings who are wicked in nature and overwhelmed by violent negative actions and suffering, I shall hold such rare ones dear, as if I had found a precious treasure.

5. When, out of envy, others mistreat me with abuse, insults, or the like, I shall accept defeat and offer the victory to others.

6. When someone whom I have benefited and in whom I have great hopes gives me terrible harm, I shall regard that person as my holy guru.

7. In short, both directly and indirectly, do I offer every happiness and benefit to all my mothers. I shall secretly take upon myself all their harmful actions and suffering.

8. Undefiled by the stains of the superstitions of the eight worldly concerns, may I, by perceiving all phenomena as illusory, be released from the bondage of attachment.

-This mind training (lo-jong) root text was composed by Kadampa Geshe Langri Tangpa (1054–1123). The verses were translated by Lama Thubten Zopa Rinpoche at Kopan Monastery, 1980, and lightly edited by Ven.Constance Miller, 1997.

💐Prayer of St. Francis

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there I error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

Thomas Merton’s Prayer⛵️
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

Serenity Prayer💠 by Reinhold Niebuhr

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

I Would Be True
by Howard A. Walter
(“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”  -1 Corinthians 6:19, 20)

I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
I would be pure, for there are those who care;
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.

I would be friend of all–the foe, the friendless;
I would be giving, and forget the gift;
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up, and laugh, and love and lift.
I would look up, and laugh, and love and lift.

I would be faithful through each passing moment;
I would be constantly in touch with God;
I would be strong to follow where He leads me;
I would have faith to keep the path Christ trod;
I would have faith to keep the path Christ trod.

Golden Chain

I am a link in Your golden chain of love that stretches around the world.
I must keep my link bright and strong.
I will try to be kind and gentle to every living thing, and protect all who are weaker than myself.
I will try to think pure and beautiful thoughts, to say pure and beautiful words, and to do pure and beautiful deeds, knowing that on what I do now depends my happiness and misery.
May every link in Your golden chain of love become bright and strong and may we all attain perfect peace.

— Buddhist Prayer

Bodhisattva Prayer for Humanity

May I be a guard for those who need protection
A guide for those on the path
A boat, a raft, a bridge for those who wish to cross the flood
May I be a lamp in the darkness
A resting place for the weary
A healing medicine for all who are sick
A vase of plenty, a tree of miracles
And for the boundless multitudes of living beings
May I bring sustenance and awakening
Enduring like the earth and sky
Until all beings are freed from sorrow
And all are awakened.

— Shantideva, Indian Buddhist sage 700 A.D.  Prayer performed each morning by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Tibetan Wind Horse Prayer🌬

As Wind carries our prayers for Earth and All Life, may respect and love light our way.
May our hearts be filled with compassion for others and for ourselves.
May peace increase on Earth. May it begin with me.

— Tibetan prayer flag is ‘Lung ta’, meaning ‘Wind Horse’

Buddhist Mealtime Prayer

This food is the gift of the whole universe,
Each morsel is a sacrifice of life,
May I be worthy to receive it.
May the energy in this food,
Give me the strength,
To transform my unwholesome qualities
into wholesome ones.

I am grateful for this food,
May I realize the Path of Awakening,
For the sake of all beings.
Namo Amida Buddha.

Refuge Prayer

O Amida, I take refuge in you,
Ocean of Oneness, Eternal Life and Light;
Entrusting with my whole heart and mind
In your Primal Vow;
I am empowered by you to live a full, Compassionate and creative life,
I dedicate myself to the service of all beings,
Striving to help others realize,
Their human potential and Enlightenment;
May your Teachings guide me
Throughout the day, in my relationships, work and play. Namo Amida Buddha

Metta Karuna Prayer

O Amida,
Oneness of Life and Light,
Entrusting in your Great Compassion,
May you shed the foolishness in myself,
Transforming me into a conduit of Love.
May I be a medicine for the sick and weary,
Nursing their afflictions until they are cured;
May I become food and drink,
During time of famine,
May I protect the helpless and the poor,
May I be a lamp,
For those who need your Light,
May I be a bed for those who need rest,
and guide all seekers to the Other Shore.
May all find happiness through my actions,
and let no one suffer because of me.
Whether they love or hate me,
Whether they hurt or wrong me,
May they all obtain true entrusting,
Through Other Power,
and realize Supreme Nirvana.
Namo Amida Buddha

Prayer of the Stages of the Path

The path begins with strong reliance
On my kind Teacher, source of all good;
O Bless me with this understanding
To follow him with great devotion.

This human life with all its freedoms,
Extremely rare, with so much meaning;
O Bless me with this understanding
All day and night to seize its essence.

My body, like a water bubble,
Decays and dies so very quickly;
After death come results of karma,
Just like the shadow of a body.

With this firm knowledge and remembrance
Bless me to be extremely cautious,
Always avoiding harmful actions
And gathering abundant virtue.

Samsara’s pleasures are deceptive,
Give no contentment, only torment;
So please bless me to strive sincerely
To gain the bliss of perfect freedom.

O Bless me so that from this pure thought
Come mindfulness and greatest caution,
To keep as my essential practice
The doctrine’s root, the Pratimoksha.

Just like myself all my kind mothers
Are drowning in samsara’s ocean;
O So that I may soon release them,
Bless me to train in bodhichitta.

But I cannot become a Buddha
By this alone without three ethics;
So bless me with the strength to practise
The Bodhisattva’s ordination.

By pacifying my distractions
And analyzing perfect meanings,
Bless me to quickly gain the union
Of special insight and quiescence.

When I become a pure container
Through common paths, bless me to enter
The essence practice of good fortune,
The supreme vehicle, Vajrayana.

The two attainments both depend on
My sacred vows and my commitments;
Bless me to understand this clearly
And keep them at the cost of my life.

By constant practice in four sessions,
The way explained by holy Teachers,
O Bless me to gain both the stages,
Which are the essence of the Tantras.

May those who guide me on the good path,
And my companions all have long lives;
Bless me to pacify completely
All obstacles, outer and inner.

May I always find perfect Teachers,
And take delight in holy Dharma,
Accomplish all grounds and paths swiftly,
And gain the state of Vajradhara.